Neither Black, nor American, nor the President

I keep reading blogs where the blogger pretends to be astonished that the birthers are still birthing. They expect them to believe that Barack Hussein Obama is an American just because he produced a birth certificate. That is no evidence at all.

I am not even sure why he wasted his time. There is real business in need of attention: we need to cut social programs as a means of having the poorest of Americans cover the deficit; we need to stop gays from trying to violate the sanctity of marriage and fairy up the military; we need to curtail the bargaining ability of anyone who is not rich enough to bargain. This birth certificate distraction is likely nothing more than a liberal political scam to make the birthers look foolish. Of course, the plot failed because the birthers know that the document isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on. It is true that they incessantly begged for the worthless document, but they did so only under the assumption that Obama would not produce it. Waving his birth certificate around like an American flag is nothing more than poor sportsmanship and patent hypocrisy. He is going to have to come up with a real way to actually prove who he is. I suspect he will never do this, however, because no one wants to admit to being an Arab.

Obama was not born in America! He is half Hawaiian, half Kenyan and half Arabic! He is a member of the Islamic race as sure as he is black. By the way, our first Black American president is not really black. He is blackish. Part black, so far as we know. He is not an American. He was born half in Kenya and half in the Hawaiian Nation and probably also in Arabia. His name is Barack Hussein Obama, which is clearly indicative of the Islamic culture in which he was raised. If he had adopted the main religion of Kenya, of course, he probably would have been a Christian, like the majority of Kenyans are. However, we can tell by his name, that it is a lie that he grew up in Kenya and only moved to America to become president. He probably grew up in Iraq and was born there, for all we know. Why else would he have been named after Saddam? If he grew up in Kenya, as he would have us believe, then how did he become an Arab?

So, Obama is not black, but Islamic. He is not American, but Kenyan and Hawaiian, and he is Arabic. Since the Constitution does not allow Arabs to become president because they were not born in this country, he is not the president, though I do realize he is acting as if he were. Voltaire said that the Holy Roman Empire was “neither holy, nor Roman, nor an empire.” Remind you of anyone we know? The first black American president is neither black, nor American, nor the president.

Some people reading this may think I am all confused. I think not! I am no more confused than any other birthers. We are all equally intelligent.


  1. Excuse me while I wipe the sarcasm off of my monitor. Nice post.

  2. Speaks volumes..why is America giving those people a platform?

    Glad I inspired this great piece of writing, I'm so proud(as Trump would say)

  3. Mr. Trump is a graduate of the PT Barnum School of Cynicism, "Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people (47% of those damned republicans anyway)."

  4. He was born half in Kenya and half in the Hawaiian Nation and probably also in Arabia.

    That must have been one heck of a difficult delivery for his mother. And don't forget he's also Hitler and the Antichrist, so add Germany and Hell to the list.

  5. John, I can see why you are not understood by the Birthers, you write in images, they speak in empty words ... this is a masterpiece.

    Indeed, when you think about this, it's a very scary image, which represents those in power. Where do we go from here? As for me, I am training my mind to not give into hatred or anger ... but to be aware and educate my grandchildren on what they must do to survive, not live, but survive.

  6. Bwhahahahaha!!!!

    I second what Bryan said.

  7. Your sarcasm accurately captures the sentiments of some of our fellow American. It really does take all kinds, doesn't it — sane and insane, rational and irrational, fact-based and wing nut?

  8. Wonderful piece, John. Perhaps in a further one you can explain to me how Obama also manages to be simultaneously pinko-liberal, commie, atheistic and muslim?

  9. I wish this country had an intelligence test requirement for it's citizens to pass before they were allowed to vote.

  10. I hate to say it, but I'm not entirely sure what party would be hurt more by that intelligence test requirement.

  11. Bryan (and Beach),

    I have wet wipes.


    You and one other site combined to inspire me. The other site made me want to say something, but I was unwilling to take the time. Then I wrote this article as a comment for your site, and I realized that it was a post unto itself (and would satisfy my need to respond). I posted a rebuttal on the other site, but it got a little ugly, so I am not going to mention it further.


    I am just being sarcastic. He was born in Kenya. They lost his birth certificate. They are mostly Christians and as such, they don’t keep good birth records. That is probably how the whole Christ born of a virgin thing started: a misplaced birth certificate.


    None of us are exempt from falsely or unjustly judging others. The birthers simply have a larger personal exemption than the rest of us, that’s all.


    They say it takes all kinds. I don’t buy it. I could get by with a very small variety if I needed to.


    A very wise man once said a “foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds,” and that explains it. However, I am not sure what a hobgoblin is, but I think it may be an unwanted consistency of some sort. Just basing my guess on context clues.

    Robert and Will,

    I have often said (and almost wrote an article on), the notion that there should be a policy test requirement for voting. This means that you cannot vote for a candidate unless you can test and show that you understand what he claims to stand for. For example, if you claim you are voting for someone because he is a fiscal conservative, like you (for example, not you specifically), then you should have to take a test that shows you know what it means to be a fiscal conservative and that the candidate is one. I did not write the article for two reasons: 1. Not enough time. It didn’t make the cut. 2. It was a hard debate to prove, since I don’t actually believe it. However, I think it should be considered (then rejected, as it would deny some people a voice and ultimately representation just because they don’t study well). I would have loved to write the article because I see lots of otherwise intelligent people who tell me why they vote republican. Yet when quizzed, they are democrats who have been brainwashed with catch phrases: big government, personal freedom, free market. They don’t know what any of it means, and they don’t have the time or interest to learn, and yet they still vote. It annoys the crap out of me even when I just went.

  12. OMG. You hypocrite! I am driving to your house and pulling the GOBAMMA sticker off of your 1972 Pinto with a camper in tow. Speaking of birthers... never mind.

    Sue, do not trust this man. He is not a friend of our beloved President. He actually believes this country went to shit when Bush left office.

    For the record Infidel, Hawaii was only entered as a state because we love pineapples and Don Ho music. It really isn't a true state of the union. Germany is more so a state because we have all of there cars here so the Hitler angle just might work.

    Thanks for the laugh John, now I have Tiny Bubbles in my head.

  13. Yes, a fine example of a conspiracy theory that can never be disproved by anything so flimsy and easily faked as evidence. I shall refrain from mentioning other, more recent events as further instances of the same.

  14. Hah, your insight betrays you. To quote Voltaire then claim to be an every man...this isn't an act of confusion, but it does cause the confusion you lack.

    I still remember how Bush was a man you could sit down and drink a beer with, an every man, who just so happened to own the Texas Rangers and be the son of a former president.

    And anytime I can compare you to Bush I'll take my shot.

  15. Good one,John.I like the way you stayed 'in character' the whole way.

    I was reminded of a friend,when asked his nationality said "half Italian, half Apache,'bout a third Irish, quarter French, quarter" and at the point someone stopped him, pointing out he'd already added up more than two people and was still going. I don't know how you get to be 1/3 something.

    Take care John.

  16. Wait a minute, don't you have to be HUMAN to get a birth certificate?

  17. My apologies to those who comments were lost. I don't know what happened. I have not logged into blogger for some time and when I came back, I noticed that Dave, Oso, and perhaps others' comments are missing. Blogger has misplaced them.

  18. It could be worse, Myste. Blogger seems to have misplaced my blog.

  19. That happened to Dubya recently and he got it back. Have you gone through the motions of retrieval and supplication required by the blogger Gods?

  20. However, I am not sure what a hobgoblin is, but I think it may be an unwanted consistency of some sort..

    Something to scare the punters with.

  21. John! It has been over a month and a half since your last post. Do you think that is really fair to your readers? Consider yourself to be properly disciplined and grant us another Myste masterpiece postehaste, please!

    (I do hope all is well for you and yours, my friend!)

  22. Mr. Paine, I have been very busy handling this nut over at Fair and Unbalanced who keeps posting lots of nonsense singing the praises of ending Medicare and padding the rich man's wallet. I could not allow his rubbish to remain unchallenged. I had to mow him down in the name of justice. I will post here again once his remains stop rising from the ashes and threatening me with bloody stubs where the arms that held his broken sword used to be.

  23. I see. Well, I will ask our mutual friend, Mr. Deming, to cease and desist then accordingly. :)

    (BTW, I hardly think it is very charitable of you to characterize Burr as a "nut".)

  24. I would like to apologize if I have offended Burr in any way. It was sincerely not my intention. I have a great deal of respect for everyone who posts as Fair and Unbalance, as they are all very intelligent, especially, but not exclusively, me, and even including those with nutty ideas. Those folk use intelligent reasoning to arrive at the wrong answer, which is not too bad, considering their nuthood.

  25. todays 'birther link'

  26. oops - actually it was yesterday's

  27. Firebird,

    Thanks for the link. It way out-classes any of the blog postings I have read on the issue. The comments are more intelligent on both sides, and the argument is at least worth considering.

    The argument at the site you referenced was good enough to almost elicit a response from me. Fortunately, a commenter calling himself Daniel Van Koughnett did it for me. Here is what he said:

    The Certificate of Live Birth issued to Barack Obama, and available for anyone who wished to examine it in his campaign HQ from before the election, is "prima facie evidence of the fact of birth in any court proceeding". When you order a birth certificate from Hawaii (and most states in recent years), the short form is what you get It is the only birth certificate routinely issued by the State of Hawaii. Millions of Natural Born Citizens of Hawaii use that short form, every day, to vote, to join the military, to qualify for social security, to get a driver's licence, to get married, to move to other states, and to get high level security clearances.

    It was good enough to satisfy Obama's eligibility to the Democratic Party.... and more importantly it was good enough to satisfy the Republican party who, let's face it, would have jumped at ANY chance to disqualify the Democratic candidate. After the election is was sufficient for teh entire Congress of the United States, who are solely responsible for determining eligibilty, to unanimously ratify Obama's election.

    The ONLY people for whom the COLD wasn't enough, despite the fact that it was legally sufficient, were the birthers, as fringe minority of conspiracy nutbags. Who demanded not only the redundant and unnecessary long form, but also a whole hockey sack full of other personal information, to which they had no right whatsoever, and more importantly, which they had never demanded of ANY OTHER SITTING PRESIDENT IN HISTORY.

    "Just show us the long form," the birthers dripped and moaned, "and this will all go away"

    Of course those of us who follow the antics of birther nutbaggery predicted that even if Obama went to the unnecessary and redundant trouble of getting the long form, the birthers would simply claim it was forged. After all, if you don't believe the actual legal Birth Certificate issued by the State of Hawaii, why would you believe a certified copy of the long form?

    And true to form, the birthers proved us right yet again. The pixels had barely cooled on the copy when the cry went up from birtherstan "It's a FAKE". We couldn't have called it better if we'd had a time machine.

    NO, birthers have shown time and time again that there really is NO amount of evidence or reality that will sway them. Facts simply are not important. Legal decisions are not important. Expert opinions are not important. Common sense is not important. Truth is not important. The only important thing is getting the scary black m an out of the Whitehouse by any means possible, and if you have to lie to do it... that's OK too.

    I will let his words stand, so I can retire for the evening.

    Here is a link to his “site,” which appears to be FaceBook.

  28. O is an Arab? If so he may be related to Jesus.

  29. I did not realize that Jesus was an Arab also. I thought Jesus was a rebellious, gray-headed white male, slightly balding, overweight, ex-hippie, who turned his back on everything his Father taught, and represented Himself as the Father whose will he subverted.

    In America, some may consider it blasphemous to call Him an Arab. I just cannot risk agreeing with you on this.

  30. "He," not "he." Sorry, Jesus. I usually capitalize the pronouns, but sometimes I miss one.

  31. Hmmm.... And all this time I thought Jesus was a Jew. I suppose there must be a few Jewish Arabs around somewhere in the world.

  32. Jesus was a Christian like me. He was a Caucasian male, just like me. The Founding Fathers in America thought just as I think. The Constitution means what I mean when I reference it and those Church Fathers hated homosexuals, just as I and God do.

    I worship them all.

  33. Like it, or not, Barack Husein Obama is America's Very Last President... and he is of such monumental importance as to be directly addressed by Yahweh within The Scriptures! In Ezekiel Chapter 28, it says:

    " The word of Yahweh came to me again, saying, 'Son of man, say to the prince of Tyre,' Thus says Yahweh The Mighty One:

    ' Because your heart is lifted up [ towards heaven ], And you say, 'I am a god [ you can judge among the gods], I sit in the seat of gods [the world's most powerful nation], In the midst of the seas [ the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans ],'

    Yet you are a man [ definitely a mortal ], and not a god [ and utterly powerless ], Though you set your heart as the heart of a god [ but, you have forgotten your own place - ***See: The Obama Mocking God Video ]

    (Behold, you are wiser than Daniel! There is no secret that can be hidden from you! With your wisdom and your understanding You have gained riches for yourself, And gathered gold and silver into your treasuries; By your great wisdom in trade you have increased your riches, And your heart is lifted up because of your riches),

    Therefore thus says Yahweh, The Mighty One: 'Because you have set your heart as the heart of a god [ in speaking against The Creator ],

    Behold, therefore, I will bring strangers against you [ foreign soldiers shall hunt you down ], The most terrible of the nations [ Babylon The Great, The Other Nations Of Assyria, and Your Own Enemies Within Asia ]; And they shall draw their swords against the beauty of your wisdom [ for they shall no longer heed your smooth and deceptive words ], And defile your splendor [ they shall trample upon the glory of your nation ].

    They shall throw you down into The Pit [ The Grave Of All Mankind ], And you shall die the death of the slain [ Without Great Fanfare, or Even Burial ] In the midst of the seas [ The Atlantic and Pacific Oceans ].

    Will you still say before him who slays you [ Yahweh, The Mighty One ], ' I am a god [ while dying like any other common man ]'? But you shall be a man [ proven mortal ], and not a god [ utterly powerless to prevent this ], In the hand of him who slays you [ for A True God has spoken this ].

    You shall die the death of the uncircumcised [ from which there is no resurrection - without judgment ] By the hand of aliens [ soldiers from a nation not of your own ]; For I have spoken [ and The Word Of Yahweh is steadfast ],' says Yahweh The Mighty One. " - Ezekiel 28:2-10.

    Why is Barack Hussein Obama [ Lightning Fallen From Heaven ] nervous about those Two Different Birth Certificates - for both: Hawaii and Kenya? What if neither of them is real? What bureaucratic agency writes birth certificates for ' Fallen Angels ' that predate the Earth's very existence?

    Fortunately, I personally didn't vote for him....

  34. Jeshurun, at the risk of unintentionally mocking your comments, are you writing this stuff as satire, because it's very funny!

    Second, I notice you've only bolded the names "Barack Obama" and "Yahweh." Are you trying to imply some kind of connection?

    Lastly, assuming you're serious (as unlikely as that seems), perhaps you're up for a test of faith. I assume you're making some kind of end-times prediction by saying that Obama is our last president, so here's my challenge to you: tell us the date when everything ends. If you're right, I'll convert to whatever end-times religion you live by, but if that date passes and nothing happens, you join me on the side of the unbelievers.

    Surely your faith is strong enough for a small test...